"Things I know now that I wish I knew then...but would never have listened to if I had the list

Lists like this have been rolling around social media lately, but here is my personal list of "Things I know now that I wish I knew then....but would never have listen to even if I had the list"

5. You are doing just fine.

Seriously. You are ROCKING this mom thing. You are caring for your baby. He is safe, clean, fed, and loved. This is new to you. When was the last time you did something brand new, and felt super confident in it right away.

Parenting takes practice. That's why babies sleep so much and don't move very quickly in the beginning. It's so you can get small bouts of practice, rest, and repeat. It's like an athlete training. Train, rest, learn, repeat. Parenting is just like that. As you get futher down the line, you get better....it's just what happens.

4. Do little things to create balance in your life.

This was a very hard one for me in the beginning. I had to go back to work earlier than I wanted to and so I didn't get very much time with Bubba in the beginning. I felt like the second I got off work I needed to come home and spend every since second with him. It created this sense of imbalance in my life. My social life was gone. I wasn't spending time with my husband. And working out...what was that?

Balance makes you a better mother. Take time for yourself. Get in the tub at the end of the say and soak in those bubbles. Step outside (with the monitor if you need to) if baby is crying and you need a minute to collect yourself. Set a date with your husband...even if it's on the couch. And make sure you call your girlfriends. Even if you can't go see them, keep those connections, especially with your friends who do not have children yet. A 5 minute phone call will mean the world to them.

3. They will eventually sleep through the night.

They will...I swear. It may seem like it's taking forever. And for some babies it might. But at some point, they will sleep through the night and it will be glorious and freakin' scary all at the same time.

You will wake up in the middle of the night...boobs leaking because they didn't wake up to nurse...and you will freak for a second. And then when you realize they have slept through the night, you will either 1) pump because breastmilk is precious and you sure aren't gonna lose it or 2) go back to sleep. (pssst - I started as mom #1 and quickly became mom #2 - it's ok either way).

But they will sleep through the night.

2. Get a schedule...for real....it saved me.

It goes back to #3. Sleep. We didn't get sleep until we got a schedule. But this topic is a bit contencious for some people. There is a lot of desire out there for On Demand feeding, and sleeping and such. And if that works for you and your baby and your family...that is awesome. We tried it and it totally didn't work for us. It was actually the opposite of working...which for me was zombie-living and wanting to tear my hair out nightly. I wasn't pleasant.

If you want to try the On Demand lifestyle with baby, cool . But if you have tried it, and it's just not working fro you, it's never too late to get your small humans on a schedule. We read " Baby Wise" (again, another very controversial book) and took the pieces I could handle from it. Mainly, the Eat, Play, Sleep schedule. Not to be confused with the Eat, Pray, Love mentality! :-) But I couldn't do a straight up Cry It Out approach, although we did let Bubba cry a little and learn to self-soothe eventually.

Anyway, we lived and breath by the schedule. As Erik says, we prayed to the gods of the schedule and his wrath reigned upon us when we were disobedient. But it worked. We merged the feeding when it was time and Bubba learned to dictate what he needed and wanted a little better. We didn't do this until he was 5 months old but it took me 3 days and he slept through the night. And was a totally different baby after that.

Schedules really work for small humans, as they do for big humans. They like to know what to expect next. Especially when they don't know how to ask what's happening next yet.

1. You will never, ever possibly be ready to love something so small in your whole life.

I don't know if there are ever words I can say to an expecting mama to get her ready for how much you can love something. It's a different love. It's not like loving a spouse, or even a sibling. The love from a parent to a child is wordless. Some days it's so big you think your heart will explode because it can't contain it all.

You will watch them sleep...a lot. And you will rock them longer than needed because they fall asleep in your arms and you just can't let go. You will worry about them but want to help them learn how to do things that will make themselves (and you) proud.

You will see and feel pure joy again...because you can feel and see what they feel. The love is unending and infinite. And you will never be ready for it. It's the greatest gift in the world.

Someone once told me it's like watching a piece of your heart run wild outside of your body, and the description is so accurate. The amount of love it also right up there with the worry...but no matter what, it's always worth it.

At the end of the day, you will learn your own lessons. Advice will come your way whether you want it or not. Just remember, you are doing great. I can guarentee your small human thinks you are the best thing in the world!

#Bubba #parenting #raisingsmallhumans #womenhelpingwomen #yougotthis