Handling the "MELTDOWN"

I don't know about you but my little one is the king of the meltdown. I'm sure it's a very normal toddler thing, but some times they seem so epic. One minute we are great, smiling, happy, awesome, and the next we are flailing on the floor, Nuclear meltdown in our midst.

I remember thinking when I was pregnant, "My child will never have a meltdown like that, in public or in private?" By no means did I think he would be perfect, but surely they wouldn't be foaming at the mouth like a rabid dog and spazing out like teen at a rave!

When this first started happening, as a first time mom to this age, I was just stunned. Like a deer in headlights.

What on earth could cause a small child to rage so dramaticaly?

I truly struggled with how to handle this. I want to be loving, but don't want to reinforce this terrible behavior. I want to hold my line on this, but I want him to know he is loved and I want to hear him. AHHHH! How do you do both, without creating bad habits for all involved?!

Parenting is hard. Making the "right" choice is hard. So I have come to the conclusion that it's all trial by error. No one system works for every kid, or for every situation. You make a choice. YOu see if it works. If it does, you do it again. If it works that one time, but never again, you make another choice. It's not a straight line. It's a crazy zig zag, or sometimes a loop, or maybe even peaks and valleys.

So the first time this happened, I scooped him and swiftly left where we were. Leaving the shopping cart in the aisle and getting out as fast as possible. But why? Was I afraid of what other people would think? That I was a terrible mother who let their child act terribly in public? Was I embarrasses? I sat in the car for a while thinking about it. What was the best response? Why was he getting so upset? Could he not clearly communicate what he needed? I mean, he's only 20 months for goodness sake. Or was it just part of development to respond that way when you don't get what you want?! Was it all of the above?

See what I mean....parenting is hard. The non-stop questions with very few answers. So I tried different approach the next time.

We were in a Target. Coutdown to meltdown as I said no to a toy he couldn't have.

3....2....1....MELTDOWN!

This time, I stopped what I was doing....let him cry and wail and try and kamakozi out of the cart. But I stayed quiet. I didn't berate him to stop crying, or cawdle him either. But I did look at him peacefully, until he was fully aware that Mama loved him but wasn't caving. And it worked this time.

I wasn't a moment of enlightenment for me, but it did keep me from losing my mind. It showed me it was ok to let me kid "feel" how he needed to feel but that the behavior wasn't going to get him what he wanted. Yes, even at now 22 months he seems to get that.

This method has worked for us....but as my mom always says, once you find something that works and you get in a groove, they will throw you for a loop and it will all change.

I will take my zig zaggy parenting techniques! It's a crazy wild ride raising small humans and I wouldn't have it any other way!

(Bubba at the end of a kitchen floor meltdown....i stayed calm and almost started laughing at his behavior....sometimes is just too damn funny!)

#kids #meltdowns #parenting